How Our Adult Children Reacted to Our Adoption Choice

Last April, as we sat in our family room and told our adult children that we were adopting a little boy, their reactions were as varied as their personalities:

Our oldest child is Amie.  She’s 28 years old and has a beautiful nine-year old daughter, Lillie.  When we told Amie, she calmly thought about it and pondered how this would change the family.  She needs time to process things and decide what the impact will be.  But once she decided it would be awesome to have a new little brother she was all in!  And I mean ALL IN!  (She thinks she’s adopting Beaux too.)

Adam is our middle child and the only boy.  He’s 25 years old and married to Nikki.  When we first told them about adopting Nikki was immediately excited, and I so appreciated that.  Adam was quiet.  He asked why we would want to bring another child into our family when we finally have an empty nest (it’s a legitimate question).  Adam doesn’t like change.  He likes things to stay predictable and comfortable.  I thought he needed time to contemplate how this might affect him. I thought he might need to process issues related to family order…at the age of 25 will it still be upsetting to not be the only boy child?…(yeah, I really did think about that).  It’s not that he has been against us adopting…he’s just been quiet.  Then, last Sunday, as the whole family was gathered watching the football game in our family room, Adam asked us what “would happen to Beaux if we were killed in an accident.   Did we have a plan in case something happened?  He and Nikki had talked about it and would like to be Beaux’s guardians if anything ever happens to us.”  (Then Amie and Christian & Cedric chimed in that they want Beaux if anything ever happens to us and a little sibling fight ensued).  Yes, we have a plan,  just like we did when he and his sisters were little.  But, oh how that touched my heart.  Adam is quiet…but he’s always thinking and preparing.  I see his heart growing.  And right about the time we are able to bring Beaux home Adam will be ready to welcome him with his whole heart.

Christian is was our baby.  She’s 23, married to Cedric and has the most adorable 10 month old son, Judah.  Before we told Christian and Cedric we were going to adopt I pretty much knew what their reaction would be…YES…THAT’S AWESOME…I WANT A LITTLE BROTHER…CAN WE GO GET HIM RIGHT NOW!  Christian has always seemed to be able to see the good through the uncomfortable.  She didn’t have any reservations about not being the baby anymore or about us adopting a child of another race.  I love that about her.

Last Thursday I forwarded my girls the email I had gotten saying WE MADE IT into IBESR by the deadline and now had a number.  Both girls responded with “So Beaux is really ours?”   Yes, Beaux is ours.  He’s joining a big family.  When he comes home to us he will instantly have a mommy and daddy, 2 sisters, 1 brother, a sister-in-law, 1  brother-in-law (possibly 2 by then), a niece and a nephew.  Just typing that out helps me to understand how overwhelming this is going to be for him.  He’s joining a family that can’t wait to teach him how to wake board, and ride on four wheelers, and watch football, and swim, and play with the chickens and the dogs, and work in the garden, and play basketball, and do crafts, and sing and play the guitar.  He’s joining a family that can’t wait to share life with him.

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