Our Growing Grinch Hearts

A picture Beau so carefully colored proudly hangs on our refrigerator. I love having refrigerator art again!

We arrived home from Haiti exactly 14 days ago after meeting Beau (yes, I’m trying out a different spelling of his name)  for the first time.  In my last post I talked a little about how hard it was to leave him there.  I’m not sure what we were expecting…. but it wasn’t that we would be heart-broken, sobbing, depressed for days.  I guess I just thought once we got him home we would really fall in love with him.  But somehow when we met that little guy our hearts instantly grew (just like the Grinch!) and we loved him, and he was our son.  That made leaving him there painful, like we left a chunk of our heart there.  I don’t think it was necessarily hard on him, at least I hope not.  All he understands is that he has a white man and woman who visited him and brought him gifts and made him feel special.  And that’s okay with me.  It would totally break my heart to think of him over in Haiti missing us as much as we miss him.  When we got back home it was a little uncomfortable.  We just tried our best to get back into our normal routine and return to life as we knew it.  But that chunk of my heart that is missing seems to leave me with a constant lump in my throat.

I’m missing you an extra heart full today, Beau.

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